Boston: Putting the ‘B’ in “Bullsh*t”

I’m always fascinated by how far the Red Sox will go to attract attention. They’re like little children throwing hissy fits just so people will look at them. As if the Bostonian Lovefest not-so-cleverly disguised as ESPN isn’t nauseating enough, the members of Red Sox Nation crave attention so much that they make baseball moves for the sole purpose of gaining publicity. 


You probably guessed where I’m going with this. The entire Nomar Garciaparra publicity stunt was disgusting. 

Yesterday, “Nomah” signed a one-day contract with the Boston Red Sox for the price of a McDonald’s Big Mac meal (or something), and then announced his retirement. The Red Sox claim to have done this so that they can honor a player that has given so much to the organization. Nomar claims to have done this because, in his heart, he will always be a Red Sock. 

Give me a [EXPLETIVE] break.

Where do I even begin to tackle this gigantic load of bull feces?

The Boston Red Sox want to honor Nomar Garciaparra? Really? Am I the only one who seems to remember how the organization treated Nomar in 2004? The Red Sox front office trashed Nomar left and right after they threw him out, they wiped the the Green Monster with him. They gave him the true “Boston Treatment” after he left, just like they verbally slaughter every single player that leaves Boston.

Oh yes, they obviously respect him and want to honor him.

Give me a [EXPLETIVE] break.

Suddenly they want Nomar to retire with the Red Sox? What the Hell happened here? The Red Sox are the poster children for Schizophrenia. Time to up their medication!

I find it absolutely hilarious that they want to honor a player whose departure, as they claimed in 2004, was the reason they won the World Series that year. It’s mind-boggling how this organization cannot seem to take a stance on anything (players, team philosophies, payrolls, PEDs) and stick to it. They switch sides faster than politicians in Washington. It’s truly an insane phenomenon.

After this publicity stunt of theirs, it won’t surprise me if, in a few years, they re-sign Johnny Damon to a one-day contract so that he can retire a Red Sock. Knowing Damon, he’ll probably ask for $5 million. 

•

Dear Red Sox Organization,

While the vast majority of your fans seem to have the memory-span of goldfish, the rest of the country can clearly remember what happened six years ago. So, please, cut the crap. We’re not buying it.

Sincerely,
Everyone Outside Of New England

•

What irks me even more is that their media is just as schizophrenic as they are. So many “All Hail King Nomah” articles fell from the Boston sky yesterday, that I honestly felt that the Apocalypse was near. *The sky is falling! THE SKY IS FALLING!*

Excuse me while I try to remember what the Boston media was saying about Nomar back in 2004. 

Were they praising him? 
No. 
Were they sad to see him go? 
No. 
Were they honoring the 8.5 years Nomar gave the team? 
No. 
Were they honoring the man who was the face of their pathetic organization? 
No. 

They were crucifying him. They got their orders from the Red Sox front office and sat at their computers typing slander after slander about Garciaparra. 

I don’t know why this even surprises me anymore. They do the exact same thing every time a player leaves the Red Sox. 

I can’t wait to see what they’ll write about Jonathan Papelbon should he leave Boston. They’ve worshipped him so much over the past few years that their schizophrenic 180° flip will be fun to see.


Now these writers received their new orders: Love Nomar. Praise Nomar. Worship Nomar. Fellate Nomar. So, they did. They threw out what little journalistic integrity they had left (which wasn’t much) and let go of their 2004 stances. Surprise, surprise.

The ultimate source of my nausea, however, comes from the fans. The same fans who regurgitated what was fed to them by the Boston front office and media back in 2004, are once again regurgitating what is fed to them in 2010. I guess old habits don’t die.

Out of nowhere, “lifelong” Nomar fans are coming out of the woodwork. Suddenly, every single member of Red Sox Nation is saying that they’ve remained fans of Nomar even after his departure. Apparently the rest of America has been hallucinating since 2004, observing an entire fanbase trash the face of their organization and then completely forgetting about him. Apparently that didn’t really happen, and all the Sawks fans have remained loyal to Nomar.

We must have been on one serious acid trip this entire time to imagine all of that.

Red Sox third-world Nation: Kiss my pinstriped a**. I’m going to call you out on your bullsh*t once again.

You have not remained Nomar Garciaparra fans all along. You talked so much trash about him in 2004 that one would think he was a member of the Yankees. You were nicer to Alex Rodriguez in 2004 than you were to Nomar. In true classless Red Sox fashion, you butchered the name of a player who you now claim was your “Derek Jeter”. Really, Red Sox Nation? He was your Derek Jeter? That’s funny, I have never seen or heard a Yankees fan disrespect Jeter. If Nomar was your Derek Jeter, then why all the hate in 2004? Was it because he didn’t win you a World Series championship? Is that why? Don Mattingly never won us a World Series championship, but you will never hear a Yankees fan slaughter him. 

In fact, how about you take a lesson from Yankees fans on what it means to be loyal to a player? 

We are still loyal to Mattingly. We still praise Don Mattingly. The year after Mattingly retired, we won the World Series. Did we act like classless morons and blame him for not winning championships? No we did not. We continued to praise him, worship him, and love him. When he left us to go coach the Dodgers, we didn’t forget about him like you forgot about Nomar. A small part of us dies every time we see Mattingly in Dodger blue. Every time the name “Mattingly” is mentioned, we praise him like the legend that he is. When you ask Yankees fans about Mattingly, they get choked up and say “we miss him”. Why? Because he truly was our Derek Jeter before Derek became our Jeter. Actually, Derek Jeter is this generation’s Don Mattingly. That is how you treat the face of your organization. That is how you show loyalty to a great player.

What you did to Nomar in 2004 was not loyalty. Forgetting about him from 2005-2009 was not loyalty. Claiming that his departure was the reason you won “The best championship ever” was not loyalty. In fact, do you even know where some of the players who won you that championship are right now? Do you know where Keith Foulke is? Keith Foulke. The former Red Sox closer. The pitcher who was on the mound when the final out of the 2004 World Series was made. Remember him now? It doesn’t surprise me that you’ve forgotten him. It doesn’t surprise me that you didn’t notice that he pitched for Oakland in 2008, or that he currently plays independent baseball. It’s all about Papelbon now. Well, until he leaves you.

I guess forgetting about the players who gave a lot to your organization is a regular thing for you. You all disgust me. I’m ashamed that you are fans of the great sport of baseball.

At least have the decency to be honest about your classless ways. At least admit that you didn’t give two craps about Nomar after he left, and that you were happy to see him go. Enough with your bullsh*t, Red Sox Nation. Enough.

Just when I think you can’t nauseate me any more, you prove me wrong.

This entire Nomar deal is one big publicity stunt. The Red Sox needed publicity after their incredibly boring winter, and Nomar needs publicity to kick off his broadcasting career. The deal that took place yesterday gave both sides what they needed. Nomar gained the attention he so desperately needed, and the Red Sox gained yet another ESPN broadcaster who worships the ground beneath their feet. Both sides won, while baseball fans outside of New England collectively reached for their buckets.

Once again, ladies and gentlemen, the Boston Red Sox, their media, and their fans, put the ‘B’ in BULLSH*T.


You can find Beeeebzy’s blog entries and more at 161st-and-River.com

20 comments

  5. Beeeebzy

    The organization has one face: The Media-***** face.
    The media and the fans? Who knows how many faces they have. I doubt they can think on their own, anyway.

    I agree with you that releasing Nomar was the right thing for them to do, but as a Yankees fan I miss the days of Nomar on the Sox. However, to slaughter him in 2004 then worship him in 2010….. Well…. I think it’s pretty obvious what I think of THAT.

    Reply
  6. jfharrington@gmail.com

    Just want to apologize for not inserting paragraph tags in that post. Looked as though it was formatted correctly on my end. Also the bleep there was the super-offensive abbreviation for shortstop. Sorry if there are kids listening. Earmuffs.

    Reply
  10. jfharrington@gmail.com

    With due respect to the writer, much of what you say here misses the mark from the standpoint of someone following Nomar for his career in Boston. Nomar was one of the best shortstops in the game for his first 5 years in Boston, and willingly became the face of our troubled franchise. By the ’04 pennant race, though, he was spending more time on the DL than the field, and was visibly worn down by the expectations, and less happy in Boston. The team and Nomar both needed the move, and they made it.
    The results speak for themselves in ’04, but they don’t change how we feel about Nomar. He was a great player who burned out in the ridiculous fishbowl that athletes in Boston live in . Years on, he’s got his love for the game back, and still has his love for Boston, and the feeling is mutual. While I appreciate the passion in your castigation, I’m sorry to say you can’t judge this one from outside with any authority. Nomar is a Red Sox favorite son, and will always be. Allowing him to retire with the team was the right thing to do, and we won’t apologize for that.

    (This comment is a summary. My full response can be found at jamesharrington.tumblr.com)

    Reply
  11. devilabrit

    At least you got 1 Red Sox fan to comment… but in retrospect will this same story be about Jeter in 6 or 10 years, who knows hind sight is 20/20. This is irrelevant, as you say the RS Nation shouldn’t change views just because the media dictates to them… I am still confused as to which part of the meaning to the word nation RS Fans are in “A nation is a grouping of people who share real or imagined common history” I’m going with the later imagined common history….

    Great post by the way…
    ~peter
    Outside the Phillies Looking In
    http://devilabrit.mlblogs.com

    Reply
  13. levelboss

    damn, girl, your vitriolic words have vapor steaming up from the screen! you even used the word ‘fellate’.. wow!

    Reply
  14. jonathon

    I agree. Signing Nomar was such a weak move. Signing someone the ilk of a BILLY CRYSTAL to a one day contract was a much more understandable move. The Red Sox didn’t invent the one day contract, they didn’t invent the idea of a player using it to “retire” a member of a former club. Still ranting on ANYTHING the Red Sox do after coming off a championship season makes you come off like those “Red Sox fans” everyone seems to hate these days. But hey, you seem to really know your stuff………. or not. But you do you.

    Reply
  16. Beeeebzy

    Dear “JMF”,
    Thank you for reading and disagreeing with my blog post. Here are my thoughts on what you said:

    1) The Yankees giving Billy Crystal a one-day contract was to honor a lifelong Yankees fan who has promoted the team as well as being involved in many of the team’s charity work. The Yankees didn’t publicly slaughter Billy Crystal, and then honor him 6 years later.

    2) The Red Sox didn’t invent the “one-day contract” or the idea of using it to retire a member of a former club, you’re right. But the Red Sox seem to have invented the idea of being hypocrites. They took a stance on Nomar in 2004 and flipped 180 degrees in 2010.

    3) You should really read an entire blog post, and not just the first and last paragraphs, before you comment. If you did read my entire post, and you still think my point was just attacking the one-day contract, then you have some major reading-comprehension problems. I suggest contacting your local middle-school English teacher for help with this. Here’s a hint: The main point of this post was to show the hypocrisy of the Red Sox, the Boston media, and the fans. In 2004 it was: we hate Nomar. In 2010 it’s: we love Nomar. Nomar didn’t do anything positive to the Red Sox organization between 2004 and 2010, so why the sudden change of heart? Did it take 6 years for the organization to realize that they were classless? No. They just decided to be hypocrites in an effort to gain publicity. Keyword: hypocrites.

    – Hiba (Beeeebzy)

    Reply
  17. yankeepalooza@yahoo.com

    I find the sentence about Kevin Foulke very interesting. Poor guy was treated like they never knew him. Didn’t even give him time to recover. Put him out in the trash like the unwanted tacos at Taco Bell. Shame on them.

    Reply
  18. bcfish

    Preach it sister! I never really hated the redsox until I saw the way they treated nomar. I also called bs on them, but you nailed it so elequently! Bravo!

    Ps, a writer on the rumor section on sports illustrated website on mlb noted how uncomfortable and phony the whole thing was. So there’s one lone honest reporter out there.

    Reply

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